Past and Present
by Lili Locket
Summary: Rated K Daryl Dixon had spent ten years running from his past, trying to escape the mistakes he had made and the internal battle he wagered; but now he's come home, for what reason he didn't know. Perhaps it was to face his Demons, to face his brother; or maybe it was for her.
1. Chapter 1

**So after starting my original story, this thought came to me and instead of getting a sweat on over something that my heart and soul weren't really in, I decided to get to working on this story right away; I apologise deeply if anyone had gotten into the other fic, who knows... one day I might revisit it, but for now... I hope ya'll enjoy this one! **

**As always constructive comments most welcome.**

**I own none of the characters.**

The sound of the crickets were deafening, the dust and rugged landscape reeked of familiarity, every inch of the desolate land that stretched out ahead were home yet as unfamiliar as snow; He pushed on, gripping tighter against the throttle, he took solace in the rough grumble of the bikes heartbeat.

The dim lights grew brighter as he approached the small and intimidating town that he'd once called home, He wasn't sure what it was now, when he'd left it had been nothing more than a cold and calculating prison; but what would it offer him now? Could it offer anything but reminders of a tortured past? He didn't know the answers to the questions that suffocated his head, but he was about to find out.

The din of noise filled his ears as he hit the binders and killed the engine, knocking the kickstand down he pulled off his helmet and set it on the seat, the Triumph scrambler had been his home for the past 10 years and it was his prized possession, hell... it was his only possession! Aside from the backpack full of clothing... he travelled light.

He approached the tavern with caution, the last time he'd set foot in the place he'd been kicked right out on his ass and he wasn't sure how welcome he'd be now.

The place hadn't changed, he edged past the throng of bodies, the stench of sweat, stale beer and Marlboros filled his nostrils, He pulled out his own smokes and lit one, the heady nicotine helped to straighten his head... that and his good old friend Mr. JD over ice.

He kept his head dipped, flicking his eyes up on occasion, he felt thankful for the recent growth of his hair, it felt like permanent security as it hung over his forehead.

"_Well, well, well... now would'ya see what the dang cat dragged in!?"_ the tension spread across his shoulders and he felt that all too familiar tinge of fear and anger take home in the pit of his stomach _"y'gonna fix ya eyes to the damn floor all night, or do ya got the balls ta look at me, boy?"_ His jaw muscles clenched and he forced his head up, his eyes fixing on him. He hadn't changed not one bit, except for the extra lines around his eyes and the thicker layer of whiskers that spread over his jaw; he still wore that same wife beater tank, his dirtied shirt hung open, his middle carried a little extra weight but when you knocked back the booze like Merle that was unavoidable.

"_S'been a long time, Merle"_ his gravelly voice barely audible but the older man heard him just fine _"aint it just, baby brother!?"_ he walked around to meet him _"ya back for good or what?"_ he could smell the bourbon on Merles breath, it washed over him causing his stomach to summersault; he'd been subjected to that stink ever since he was born into this hell hole and it didn't become any easier to handle.

"_maybe, dunno"_ He held steady eye contact with his older brother, when you had him in your sights you didn't take your eyes off Merle Dixon, not for a second.

"_Whadd'ya mean ya dunno? I aint seen ma baby brother for... how long's it been anyhow?" _ _"bout 10 years"_ he mumbled, his body still prepped for some kind of impact and it was only made worse as the hard hit of Merles hand slammed into his back, pushing him toward the bar stool; he perched on its edge, he had to remain poised and ready.

"_God dayum! 10 years huh? Well... let your old brother, Merle get'cha a drink"_ his eyes still didn't shift as Merle set the 2 glasses down in front of him, the murky liquid spilling over the edges as he knocked one against the other _"here's ta the return of my baby, brother" _still not taking his eyes from Merle he lifted the glass to his lips and knocked it back in one quick action.

Merles jovial welcome soon left, the darkness fell across his face as He leaned against the bar, his eyes narrowed, they were always so full of venom.

"_What'cha really doin' here, Daryl?"_

Daryl toyed with the glass, his bottom lip resting between his teeth as he considered the question, He'd always known that coming back wouldn't be easy, He knew Merle would make it as damned hard as he possibly could; after all it had been his older brother that kicked him out on his backside all those years ago, He recalled the humiliation as Merle threw him across the dusty parking lot, he'd spat at Daryl's feet that night and told him that if he ever stepped foot back in 'his town' that he'd kill him, and he'd meant it; difference between then and now was that Daryl had been a nervous 23 year old boy, frightened of his own shadow, Merle and his mother had seen to that; a lot had changed in 10 years.

"_I'm waitin', baby brother!" _

Daryl shook off the memory and fronted up to Merle, his shoulders squared and a new found determination set in his face, the corner of Daryl's mouth lifted as he smirked _"What 'ya gonna do if I don't tell ya? Ya gonna drag me outta' here in front 'a all these people? Jus like you did last time?"_

Daryl's forehead now rested against his brothers, his eyes focused heavily on him "I dare ya, brother, I dare ya"

"_Daryl Dixon? That really you?"_ her voice cut the moment instantly, His shoulders lost their tension and as much as he wanted to turn and face her, he couldn't; it was Merle that broke the challenge first, he lifted his head past Daryl _"looks like someone's pleased 'ta see ya, baby brother!"_

Daryl's cheeks flared as he slowly turned, he looked at her through strands of hair, his eyes drank her in, time had been cruel to Carol Peletier, or had it been his brother that had been cruel? Both probably.

"_Hey... Carol"_ his voice softened at the edges, just a little but it was enough for Merle to pick up on it, Daryl watched as his brother staggered over to Carol, throwing his arm heavily over her shoulders, not in a loving way, in a 'she's my property' kinda way.

"_yeeup! Baby brothers back in town, whadd'ya think bout that, honey?"_

Daryl straightened up and considered her carefully, his eyes flicked over her slight frame, the dark circles that in-cased her eyes and the sallow colour to her skin; yet the most shocking revelation had been that missing mane of chestnut hair that had once fallen effortlessly over her shoulders, it was gone... and in its place a cropped, greying style.

He watched as she flinched at Merle's touch, her stance that of a beaten and defeated woman and it made him sick to his stomach, he knew that feeling only too well.

What did he care though? She wasn't his responsibility! She wasn't his problem! It's not like he hadn't tried to help her! No, Carol had made her bed and now she was well and truly laying in it.

Merle's head lolled to the side as he offered Daryl a drunken _smile "stayin' with us ain't ya, baby brother?"_

Just as Daryl readied himself to correct his brothers statement he noticed a flicker of, what was it... hope? Fill Carol's eyes, and as much as it pained him, really pained him to take Merle up on the not so pleasant offer he also knew that she was in trouble and despite the stupid bitches decision to go against his advice and stay, Daryl still felt some responsibility for her situation; after all he'd so willingly left, he'd left her to deal with the aftermath of what he'd done, now it was time for him to repay his debt to her.

Sliding his eyes across to Merle he dropped his backpack to the floor and shrugged _"For now!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Just a quick note to thank ya'll for taking the time to read this, it makes me smile ALOT, so here's the next instalment, a few sneaky insights to the Dixon's past hidden in here ;) **

**Enjoy!**

**I own none of the characters. **

The dank rooms hadn't changed; Daryl followed Carol into the far room, she moved with caution, her shoulders always slumped, her head always bowed.

Daryl understood her body language; it was so familiar to his own, fear and unease mixed with dejection and failure.

"_I'll bring you some clean sheets, a towel"_ she stood back and to the side. He took this as his cue to pass her; he looked around the stark room and held onto his bag, he wasn't making himself at home, not while she was still around.

"_S'no need"_

She didn't take her judgmental eyes off him, he could feel the pity seeping from her and it made him sick; He didn't need anyone's pity, especially not hers, she should save that for herself.

She turned back towards him, her eyes shifting between Daryl and the floor _"it's good to see you again, Daryl. I know Merle missed you"_ she hesitated and ran her hand cautiously over her cropped hair _"he doesn't show it much but he needs his brother"_

Daryl grunted and threw the backpack onto the bed _"G'night, Carol"_

Carol waited outside the bedroom door, composing herself before going to Merle; She had left him to close up, that would have pissed him off straight away, not that he would have done anything other than kicking everyone out and locking the doors; She'd have to clean in the morning, empty the drip trays, clean the lines and re-stock, and she'd have hell to pay.

She sighed with relief as his snoring frame sprawled out over the bed, he hadn't bothered to undress, or even remove his boots.

Carol undressed carefully, holding her breath with every creak of the floorboards, her eyes darted over to him; He grumbled and turned, leaving just enough room for her to squeeze in next to him.

She removed his boots, careful not to disturb him; the last thing Carol wanted was to alert him of her presence, He'd be sure to want something from her then and the thought of his sweaty hands pawing over her sent a shiver down her spine.

She crawled in next to him, her greying nightdress clinging to her, the night breeze drifted over her and goose bumps settled against her skin, she'd not risk tugging some covers from underneath him though, she'd rather freeze.

She laid still, her fingers toying with the fraying edge of the pillow case, his snoring should have disturbed her but it offered solace, it meant he was so intoxicated that he'd not wake.

Her mind drifted to Daryl, the change in him was obvious, gone was the innocent, wide eyed teenager; instead he had now been replaced with a guarded and broken man.

It was Merle's fault, well… perhaps not entirely but he'd played a pivotal role in Daryl's upbringing.

Daryl hadn't known the love of a mother, she'd died in child birth and this caused a wave of hatred and resentment from Merle and their father; they'd both blamed the innocent boy that had been born into a world of blood.

The bed was lumpy, and the room held a chill, an un-lived in chill but that didn't matter, Daryl couldn't remember the last time he'd slept in such… luxury.

He moved onto his side, the familiar ache in the pit of his stomach threatened him once more "not now!" he muttered, he'd not eaten for over 24 hours but had readily turned down Carol's offer of food, she looked exhausted and he'd not put on her, Merle did that enough for the both of them.

He thought back to a time when Carol hadn't looked so… beaten down...

As a teenager Daryl had spent most of his time avoiding his father's fists, but he'd be so busy avoiding that, he'd run straight into his brothers; they didn't need a reason to remind him of how unimportant he really was.

Women made him nervous set him on edge, they were unfamiliar creatures and that had scared him, hell… it still scared him still to this day!

Carol and Merle went to school together; Daryl's father hadn't seen it fit for his youngest son to receive an education, instead he'd used him as his whipping boy and that was in the literal sense.

Daryl remembered that day well, the day a young Carol nervously followed his brother into the tavern, Daryl had been washing glasses, his brother's unwanted clothes hanging loosely from his emaciated body.

"_Hello"_ she had whispered her voice softer than anything he'd ever known; He'd been too shy to even contemplate responding and instead kept his head down and continued with his chores but he noticed her, he always noticed her.

Carol came in often after that day, she became Merle's shadow and he loved it, his ownership of the timid young girl became obvious from an early stage; it hadn't taken long for him to order her to tie her hair back; Daryl guessed that had been why it was now replaced by the boyish, cropped cut.

He groaned inwardly, shaking off the images that plagued his mind, resting his arms behind his head as he stared up at the cracks in the ceiling, they joined together, just like a map; and then a fresh set of images infected his head...

He would join the lines together on 'those' nights, he'd make pretend that each was a new road, taking him somewhere else, anywhere else that wasn't in that room, in that moment.

It was all he could do to bring himself through it, to survive and see yet another day; He had a lot to thank those cracks in the ceiling for.

Carol woke with a start, a sheen of sweat licking across the back of her neck, she'd had the same nightmares, always the same nightmares and they would always end in the same way; instinctively she threw her hand to her neck and attempted to control her sporadic breathing. Merle was spark out; his hands hadn't been clamped around her neck, squeezing the life out of her.

The sound of barrels scraping against the cellar floor echoed about the empty bar, pulling her cardigan across her brittle body she crept down the steps, her hand clutched against the baseball bat in preparation to hit out.

Stopping short of the bottom step Carol saw him, his shoulder muscles glistening with dirt and sweat, the prominent scars peaked out from the neck of his shirt, grunting as he pushed the barrel against the wall and hooked it up.

He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead and turned, tensing his shoulders as his eyes flicked briefly over her _"sorry. I wake ya?"_

Carol shook her head, focusing on the barrel _"you didn't have to do that" _

"_S'no big deal"_ He shrugged and kicked the toe of his work boot against the wall _"couldn't sleep"_

The corner of her mouth lifted slightly and she regarded him curiously _"why did you go, Daryl?"_

He pushed the damp hair from his eyes, everything about the way he stood screamed that he didn't want to discuss it _"don't matter"_ He dragged another barrel over and she considered her next words carefully, Daryl had always been... difficult to communicate with _"it matters to me" _she held her breath as the words tumbled from her mouth, He paused, his shirt clinging to his back with sweat _"why'd you stay?"_ his words took her off guard and she stammered for a response _"I... Daryl, I... I had to!"_ He scoffed and turned, his eyes looking right through her _"sure'ya did!"_

"_CAROL! Where'r'ya, Woman? My stomach thinks my throat's been cut!"_ Daryl tilted his head towards the stairs _"best see ta that"_

She sighed, dejected by the conversation; Daryl turned away and stacked the boxes, two at a time, his muscles protesting against him, his stomach growled with anger as she called down to him

"Daryl? Breakfast will be ready in ten"

Merle didn't bother to look up as Daryl sat down at the kitchen table, evidence of grits soaked into the same white tank he'd worn the previous day, the film of stubble now more prominent; food sprayed out over the table as he finally spoke _"How long you stickin' around?"_

Daryl swallowed the bacon and felt bile rise in his throat, the earlier hunger now replaced with repulsion as Merle shovelled another mouthful of food into his mouth _"dunno! For a bit"_

Dixon's weren't known for their fluid conversational skills.

"_Gunna have'ta pay yer way! We don't keep nobody here!"_ Daryl nodded and collected the piece of toast from his plate as he made to leave, he couldn't stomach Merle's company for one second longer.

"_I mean it, baby brother! Gotta pull ya weight! Worked hard at keepin' this place running so ya could take yerself off on ya lil road trip!" _

Daryl knew different, Merle hadn't kept anything 'running' it was all Carol; she visibly worked her fingers to the grindstone for his useless, older brother.

"_Heard ya the first time!" _He mumbled before stopping to survey the kitchen, it hadn't changed, it was a darn sight cleaner but it hadn't changed, much like everything else in the god forsaken place.


	3. Chapter 3

**Apologies for the wait, my lovelies... life has been kicking my butt! Alas, here it is and I hope ya'll enjoy it.**

**Oodles of thanks for the read's and reviews, you're all awesome ;) **

**I own none of the characters.**

Carol spent more time on her hair then she usually did, she stared at the stranger in the mirror; she no longer knew herself, the girl she had once been was now replaced by a timid, worn and fragile woman.

This hadn't been the future she'd planned for herself; her dark unloving surroundings swallowed any fraction of happiness that might have remained. She didn't own any cosmetics or perfume, Merle wouldn't allow it; Carol had no choice but to make the best of what she had and that wasn't much.

She surveyed her tatty, grey cardigan; most if not all of her clothes were second hand, the colours murky with a few extra holes that should be , Merle picked them, she'd never been allowed the freedom to choose anything for herself; she laughed to herself, He'd always made a point of telling her that skirts weren't ladylike, low cut or tight tops did nothing for her boyish figure and she stupidly believed him, she trusted his judgement; back then Carol would have believed Merle if he'd told her the sky was green.

But now, now she knew different, now she knew just how controlling and obsessive he could be; now she knew the extent of his wicked nature... but now was too late.

Carol's father had raised her alone, she didn't have any siblings and her mom died just before she reached 16, she had felt cheated, it wasn't until she met Merle that she realised she had been one of the lucky ones, he had hardly known his mom before her time in the world was spent, and Daryl, well Daryl had been dealt a cruel hand, he'd not even been given the opportunity to meet his mom so that he could cherish the memories, so that he could remember her.

Carol's father had drunk himself to death, his weak heart giving in as she turned 19 she felt desperately alone and she needed someone, she ended up with Merle Dixon and at the time she considered herself to be so lucky, Merle had once been considered quite eligible, he was certainly popular with the girls at school (on the rare occasion he was there) Carol could never understand his interest in her but now she did; He'd sought her out like most predator's did their prey.

"CAROL! Get ya damn ass down here, woman!" she sighed and said goodbye to the stranger in the mirror, he'd hardly said more than two words to her this morning, but she considered that to be a good thing.

Daryl didn't look up, he occupied himself behind the bar, cleaning the lines, something Merle hadn't done once in his entire life!

Merle lazed on a bar stool, a bottle of beer clutched in his hand, he patted his knee and winked over at her, she felt the atmosphere in the room shift and as much as she didn't want to be anywhere near him, she also didn't want to face the repercussions of disobeying him.

His hands snaked around her waist and she felt a wave of sickness course through her, his beer and tobacco tainted breath wafted across her nose "How bout a lil sugar for daddy?" she grimaced as his mouth clamped roughly onto her own, his whiskers grazing over her chin; Daryl cleared his throat "lines are done" Merle coughed and spat his chewing tobacco into the empty beer bottle, Carol took the opportunity to escape his clutches.

"Well, aren't ya the lil star, baby brother? Whadd'ya reckon, Carol... employee of tha month?" he laughed and spun on the stool as the door suddenly creaked open.

The young brunette breezed into the tavern, along with her came a carefree and positive energy, she stopped short of the bar and eyed Daryl with suspicion "well, who we have here then? I been replaced?"

Merle stood quickly, disregarding Carol from his lap as though she were a rag doll, He leaned on the bar, his hip cocked and winked at the brunette "now don 'be silly, darlin' ain't nobody that can replace 'ya!" He gestured towards Daryl "that's just my baby bro" Carol watched Merle's hand sneak onto the girls arm, she felt sorry for her, she felt sorry for anyone that had to endure physical contact with Merle.

"You know old Merle would never get rid 'a you" The girl handled the situation well, Daryl thought as he observed from the background, she smiled convincingly and bounced behind the bar "well that's sure good to know! Daddy would kill me if I lost my lil job here!"

She waited until Merle had left before leaning closer to Daryl, He felt his body stiffen as her shoulder brushed against his "pretty full on your brother!" Daryl grunted and kept his head down, the wisps of hair that clung to his lashes were irritating him but now was not the time to improve her view of him by pushing them aside; He'd presumed his unapproachable demeanour would put her off, he was wrong.

She held out her hand to him, her slender fingers extended "I'm Maggie, Maggie Green, pleased ta meet ya" He ignored the offer of her hand, instead he moved away from her and set about filling the fridge, He mumbled his response "Daryl" Her shriek filled the bar and she stared at him wide eyed "oh my gosh! Daryl? Wow… you've sure grown up! I didn't recognise ya! Where'd you go? What'cha been up to? How are ya?" He stood and pinched the bridge of his nose, her voice penetrated his brain like a nail to wood "gotta do stuff out back" he muttered before putting as much distance between them as he could.

"She means well" Carol's soft voice startled him as he splashed the cool water over his neck "who?" He questioned "Maggie, the… pretty young lady that seems quite taken with you" there was a note of something in Carol's voice but Daryl didn't know nearly enough about women to know what exactly it was.

"She ain't nothin' special, talks too loud" this made Carol smile, he liked it when she smiled, it relieved some of the weariness from her face, but only for a second. He wanted to say more, engage in some form of conversation with her, he felt like he ought to but the words just wouldn't come, instead he pushed his blistered hands inside his jean pockets and surveyed the land surrounding them.

It was Carol that eventually broke the silence "you didn't need to leave, Daryl, what happened… it… it wasn't your fault" He wanted her to stop, he so desperately wanted her to stop, but she didn't "it was an accident, you can't shoulder the blame, you shouldn't! And Merle…"

He'd heard enough, his shoulders pushed back as he took a step towards her, his finger jabbed against her chest and he spat his words with unexpected venom "you don't know nothin' not about me, about him, or tha 'night! Why don'cha figure out your own shit before messing with my head?"

He charged off, muttering under his breath "stupid bitch"

He had to escape, from the moment he stepped foot back in the place he felt like it'd been a bad idea, some things couldn't heal with time and some rifts couldn't be mended; Daryl had fooled himself into thinking he needed his brother, that maybe they might have both grown enough as people to build on something, together.

He kicked against the dirt with anger, grabbing his helmet and pulling it onto his head, He needed space, this place was like a damn prison and the walls were closing in on him.

He hammered down and took the bike at full speed, his body leaning into every curvature of the wide, open road and he felt the tension slip from his body.

Carol's words had forced those memories back inside his head, he felt it now... plaguing him, taunting him with its existence; He'd spent the past ten years trying to put a lid on the past, laying it to rest once and for all and he thought coming back would be the final step, but all it had done was remind him of his fear of his older brother and the muddle of unknown feelings that came with being around Carol.

Hitting the binders he pulled off his helmet and ran his hand through the back of his hair, it clung desperately to the back of his neck; He cricked his neck from side to side and took a moment to catch his breath, her words echoed about his head "It was an accident... it wasn't your fault... you didn't need to leave..."

Throwing his helmet across the dirt he screamed "I DID NEED'TA LEAVE!" the bile threatened his mouth and he forced it back, bowing his head as he took several deep breaths "stop bein' such a pussy! Man the hell up, Daryl..."

He had to go back; he couldn't run, not again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Once again, thank you SO much for continuing to read this. I've had mental writers block for weeks prior to this story and you're honestly helping me shift it! Reviews are always a help! Let me know how I'm doing...**

**I own none of the characters.**

Carol kept herself busy, not that she any other choice! Although she was already noticing the positive effect Daryl's arrival was having on her day, she couldn't remember a time when she didn't have to get up at the crack of dawn to move barrels and clean the lines... it felt like a holiday!

Merle had left shortly after rolling out of bed, where? she didn't know and neither did she care; she did however feel surprised at her panic following the absence of Daryl, he'd took off after their earlier conversation, she should have known dragging up the past would scare him off.

Carol kept herself busy in the kitchen, she used to find great solace and relaxation in cooking, she'd spent many days watching her grandma as she baked cakes and biscuits and that had rubbed off on her; Merle had soon knocked the enjoyment out of it for her, he'd turn his nose up at anything past grits and steak, she didn't have the chance to experiment, not anymore.

But now she found herself humming softly as she beat the eggs and flour; Daryl had always had a sweet tooth, that was one of the many things she remembered about him, she didn't consider Merle's reaction, he probably wouldn't even notice.

Maggie thanked the lord every time Merle left the bar, it meant he wouldn't be lurking about, leaching over her the whole shift, she honestly didn't know how Carol put up with the fat, slobbering mess pawing all over her; he repulsed her!

She smiled as Daryl sauntered back into the bar, his hair messy, a helmet in his hand; He set it down on the bar and nodded towards the fridges "any more stock needin' bringin' up?"

Her smile widened, he didn't like it, there wasn't any need to smile, it was only a question!

"Nu uh, you already did half my job for me! Day shift is always slow; don't want ya takin' anymore of my work away from me now!"

He shrugged and mumbled "Gotta earn my way"

Maggie watched him with intrigue, there was something about the way he moved, he had the grace of a panther and the awareness of a rabbit in headlights, and she found him interesting. Daryl caught her staring out the corner of his eye, not wanting to let on that he'd noticed, he kept his head down, frustration growing inside him, what was she staring at anyway? He hated being stared at. "So where'd ya go, Daryl?" her eyes widened in interest, she clearly expected him to regale her with tales of adventure, she clearly didn't know him. "goin' ta see if Carol needs anythin' doin'" He noticed her exhale as he made for the kitchen door, she was an irritating little bitch.

Daryl often questioned why women did that, why they felt the need to stick their noses into business that didn't concern them! What did she care where he'd been? He was here now, didn't matter what he'd done before that.

He lingered in the doorway, not knowing whether to make his presence known to her; an unsuspected smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he watched Carol swaying, the mixing bowl in her arm as she turned the spoon against its contents; her voice carried a pleasant tune as she broke the otherwise deafening silence. Wiping his hands down his torn jeans he cleared his throat gruffly.

Carol turned quickly, her eyes wide with… what was that? Fear? He didn't know what she had to fear with him! But then he realised that she'd suspected Merle to be stood in his place; the fear she had of him made Daryl's stomach turn.

"You're… you're back!" relief washed over her face, Daryl didn't realise his absence had even been recognised, he was so used to ghosting through life, had done ever since he'd been born; none really noticed him. Carol sat the bowl down and took three steps closer, Daryl felt his heart quicken, he didn't like this, she should stay where she was! He felt his body recoil as she placed a small hand against his bare shoulder, his skin not aware of such contact and he fought not to turn and run.

"I'm sorry, Daryl" it was his turn to look confused now, his brows furrowed as he fixed his stare on the frayed material in the tare that surrounded his knee "don't need 'ta be!" Her voice lowered slightly "I shouldn't have brought up the past, it wasn't my place to!"

She laughed lightly "I should just be glad you're back, the past doesn't matter… not now"

He shifted uncomfortably, he didn't want anyone being grateful for him, he didn't want people relying on him or expecting anything from him. He looked over her shoulder, the side strewn with ingredients and utensils "I'll, leave ya to it, jus wanted ta know if you got any more jobs that need 'ta be done" Carol nodded "could give me a hand in the kitchen?"

He turned to leave "don't think so! I'll be workin' on ma bike if ya think 'a anythin'"

She felt a shift in her mood when he was out of sight, thinking back, she'd always felt that shift when he wasn't around, she understood him; she knew what it was like to be controlled, scared into submission, to have your dignity and self respect stolen against your will, she knew what it was like to go to sleep every night in the vein hope that tomorrow would be different, tomorrow would be better.

Carol recalled the first time she'd seen Merle lay into Daryl, really lay into him. They'd been to the fair, small towns like Woodbury weren't often graced with such activities and Merle had already made his mind up that they'd make a night of it; and by that he'd meant get shitfaced drunk and start some kinda trouble.

Carol hadn't been so timid back then, her relationship with the eldest Dixon brother still fresh, she was eager to please him, the mere thought of loosing Merle was unthinkable. She'd managed to persuade him to take Daryl along, not that Daryl had seemed bothered about going, he tried not to involve himself in anything that involved people; it'd be good for him though, Carol was sure of that, the boy was only 23, he needed to get out, make friends. Merle's fingers had dug deeper and deeper into her arm as he pulled her along with him, the pain shooting through her body as she felt the bruises already forming, she didn't speak up though, you didn't speak up.

Daryl eyed him with caution as they approached the Ferris wheel, they'd not be let on, Merle was too wasted and this would only end in disaster, for both Daryl and Carol. "Whadd'ya mean too drunk? Ah you ain't nothin' but a kid! Hell I dun let ma baby brother speak to me like that! Damn sure I ain't letting a runt like ya tell me what ta do! Nobody tells Merle Dixon what 'ta do!" Carol tugged gently against Merle's arm "common, baby, let's just go to the shooting range! I want a soft toy!" she smiled up at him, her long hair whipping around her face as the breeze picked up.

That was when it had happened, that was the first time Merle had harmed her with intent, his hands pushing against her chest as he sent her flying back into the dirt, no one stopped, no one said a word; they all knew of the Dixon family and they all knew not to get involved in their business.

Daryl rushed forward, his arms linking under Carols as he scooped her up, she gave him a look of thanks and that's all it took to send Merle over the edge. She screamed as he swung for his younger brother, Daryl ducked, he didn't avoid the second blow that aimed straight for his face though, Carol couldn't remember ever seeing so much blood, it sprayed across her white shirt, it soaked into the dirt surrounding Daryl's limp body; it had happened so quickly.

Eventually someone intervened, the older man dragged Merle away "enough! He's had enough!" He screamed. Carol took her chance to jump in front of Merle's snarling face, foam building at his mouth as he growled "outt'a my way, woman! Ain't done yet!" He fixed his stare at the bleeding Daryl "still got business ain't we, boy?"

She didn't know how but between herself and the older man they'd managed to drag Merle away, he'd wandered off after that, leaving her abandoned in the middle of the fair, not that she'd minded… she couldn't stomach being in his presence right then, not after what she'd just witnessed.

Carol returned to the scene of the fight, to find the older man bent over Daryl's broken and bruised body. "Is… is he gonna be ok?" she asked, her voice shaky, tears tumbled down her face; the man looked up at her and nodded "He'll be fine, I'll take him home with me, fix him up" he'd looked to the young girl that stood wide eyed behind him "Maggie, give me a hand!"

Hershel Green took Daryl in and without him she didn't know if Daryl would have survived the beating that night. He tended to his weeping wounds, bandaged his bruised body and kept him out of Merle's way for 2 weeks. She visited Daryl many times over the 2 weeks that he'd stayed with Hershel, each time she walked in to see the young Maggie tending to Daryl, she didn't leave his bedside, her innocent eyes didn't stray from him. Carol noticed the girl's love for Daryl back then and saw it reignited earlier this very day when Maggie realised he'd returned home.

Hershel was a respected pillar of the community, his wife had sadly passed when Maggie was a child and he had dedicated his existence to raising his daughter as best he could. Hershel had built a decent life for the both of them, his standing as the Town's only veterinarian served them well, He had known Merle and Daryl's father - Shane from their youth and he'd often tried to persuade the boy's mother - Andrea to leave Shane, to get far away from the violence; the same violence he started to see Shane's eldest put Carol through; it was history repeating itself all over again.

The memory of that night triggered something else in Carol's mind, it had only been 6 weeks following that night that Daryl left, Merle had called it running away "can't stand'tha heat, my baby brother! Can't face what he's gone and done! He'll pay though, somehow, he'll pay!"

Carol had been subjected to Merle's ranting and raving for months following Daryl's departure, he'd sworn vengeance and she didn't for one second fool herself into thinking that he'd forgotten that vengeance, his acceptance of Daryl's return was merely a ploy, she knew just how cruel and hateful he could be, she knew it'd only be a matter of time.

Her little trip down memory lane had distanced her from her surroundings, she dropped the glass she'd been drying as she felt the rough hands slide around her waist, the familiar pressure of his fingers sinking into the flesh of her lower stomach; his breath washed over her and she fought against the bile that rose in her throat. Merle's voice whispered against her ear, he'd been drinking... a lot.

"Come ta bed, now... Merle needs a lil suga" she shuddered with disgust, she couldn't stand it, not his sweaty body crushed down on her, his whisker covered lips seeking hers with force, the very thought sickened her.

She had to keep him sweet though, this Merle was the most dangerous kind, it wouldn't take much to tip him over the edge.

"Sweetheart I'm cooking right now, later though... yeah?"

And it had happened, the switch had been flipped, his fingers sunk even further into her flesh, causing her to whimper, he spun her around to face him, his eyes boring into hers, the pupils dilated with anger, he spat his words at her, each filled with hatred "Cookin'? Ya fuckin' cookin'? What for? Who ya cookin' for?"

He pushed her aside, his hand tipping the bowl of chocolate cake mix, he dipped his dirt ridden finger inside and she watched with repulsion as he dragged his tongue over the mix that dripped down his hand.

"Tastes like shit! Now I wonder who's it for. Cuz Merle here don 'eat cake!"

Her breath caught in her throat, her vision blurred as tears formed in her eyes, the world went out of focus as he strode forwards, his hand grabbing a handful of hair as he slammed her body into the worktop, she felt the wind being knocked out of her as its edge cracked against her back.

"I'm waitin'! Gimmie answers, woman! WHO'S it for?"

Her voice barely audible as she whimpered her response "D.. Daryl, it's for Daryl"

Merles face distorted as He cocked his mouth, his eyes squinting as he pulled back his curled fingers, she felt the impact against her skull as her head knocked with force into the larder behind, her nose dripped with blood instantly, she could taste it creeping between her lips.

Her body trembled, she'd suffered many beatings at the hands of Merle, but never had she seen the darkness in his face that she did right now; she considered her options, she could try and pacify him, but no... He was beyond that, no, it was no good... she'd just have to brace herself and endure every last agonising moment of it.

Daryl's voice rattled through her ears, every syllable of sound strong and full of meaning "LEAVE HER ALONE, MERLE!"

Merle's eyes didn't leave her, not for one second, he snarled and wiped the blood roughly across her cheek "Yeah! What happens if I don't' baby brother?"

Daryl took a step forwards, he was in her line of sight now, his face flushed with sweat, his hair sticking against his forehead, he held his fists balled against his sides, his arms glistened, defining the evidence of muscle and his cheeks flared with each deep breath that rocked his body.

"I'll make you"


	5. Chapter 5

**Ya'll rock! THANK YOU so much for the read's, favourites and reviews, it's what keeps me going, truly! **

**Things are going to get a little darker now, I hope ya'll stick with me.**

**I own none of the characters.**

Carol felt Merle's attention switch, his back now facing her, pressed close though, she could feel the heat radiating off of him. She attempted to stem the steady flow of blood that now ran down, over her chin and neck; The tears had stopped now, she was to shocked to cry, she was too shocked to do anything but stand there and take in the sight of Daryl doing the one thing she'd never seen him do… stand up to his older brother.

"_Ah I see, ya tryin' out'tha role'a hero huh, baby brother?"_ He turned his head slightly and ran his eyes over Carol's dishevelled state _"I gotta warn ya, she ain't worth tha trouble! Never has bin"_

Daryl gritted his teeth and stepped closer, his chest puffed out and shoulders squared, his jaw set with determination _"get outta here, Carol"_ he ordered, she couldn't move though, not even if she'd wanted to, Merle pushed his body back, pinning her in place. _"She ain't goin' nowhere, baby brother"_ Merle folded his arms over his stomach, his voice containing malice now _"why'd ya really come back, baby brother? Sure as hell weren't for me was it?"_

Daryl stood his ground, he evaluated the scene in front of him; Carol stared at him, wide eyed, her nose looked pretty busted and she was shivering, probably from the shock; He felt desperate, He needed to remove her from the situation, needed to get her away from Merle, at least until he'd sobered up some. _"Wanted ta see my brother, that's why I came back"_ He responded, his voice steady but a constant stream of panic rushing through his head. _"Lot of time has passed, Merle; we need'ta let what happened go, need'ta try and build on what's left"_

Merle snorted _"what's left? What's left? There ain't NOTHIN' left, baby brother!"_ he flung his arms out _"see this here? See all this? Its nothin' ain't worth shit!"_ his voice turned to a growl now _"because 'a' you it's all gone, he's gone! Ya took him away from me!"_ Daryl bit back his response, considering his words carefully; He couldn't say what really burned the tip of his tongue, not while Merle was in this mood, not while Carol was in danger of his temper.

Carol's voice broke through the heated exchange, Daryl watched with concern as she placed her trembling hand against Merle's shoulder _"it… it was an accident, sweetheart, you need to let it go, you… we need to move on"_ her eyes locked with Daryl's _"we all need to move on"_ Her words were met with an eerie silence and Daryl held his breath, his body poised for action as the muscles in his forearms flexed, his fingers curling and uncurling.

He wasn't prepared for what happened next.

Merle snapped around suddenly, his nose pressed up against Carol's as he pinned her arms to her sides, his shoulders heaved as his breathing quickened. _"Le'go? LE'GO? That what'cha think I need 'a do is it?"_ Daryl took another step forwards but he was only met with Carol's gaze, she shook her head slowly, urging him to stop. _"What if I can't le'go?" Merle's voice dropped, an edge of despair creeping in "He ruined it all, He RUINED it!"_

Daryl watched with surprise as his brother sunk down onto his knees, his arms wrapped around Carol's legs, hugging her against him; his face buried against her body as he wept like a small child. Further to Daryl's surprise she tended to him, her hand stroking the back of his head tenderly, she cooed and soothed _him "sssshh, it's gonna be ok, it's gonna be just fine"_

Daryl felt the wind being knocked out of his body, his body slumped, dejected by what he saw. He moved to interrupt the moment, her face needed tending to.

"_Carol we should…."_ Her head snapped up, her eyes wide and wild _"No! Daryl. No! Just go" _he wasn't sure of the reaction displayed on his face but he guessed it was enough, her voice softened suddenly _"thank you for your… help… but I can handle it from here, just go… please?"_ What the hell was she playing at? Just ten minutes ago the pathetic excuse for a man that now begged at her feet was laying into her, showing her who's boss! But now… now she comforted him like a mother would her child; it was sickening.

"_The hell with it"_ he barked as he bowled past, his fists still clenched, ready for action.

Maggie looked up as Daryl crashed through to the bar; his shoulders hunched forwards and his eyes knitted together in a scowl.

She called after him but he didn't stop; Daryl kept walking until the Georgian sun penetrated the skin on his shoulders, He wasn't sure how far he'd gotten but it was far enough to put the Tavern out of sight. He noticed the horses grazing in a distant field, the white picket fence placed perfectly around the front grounds of the farmhouse, it felt familiar here, He'd been here before but he couldn't quite recall when.

He should have stopped, gone back... for what though? He was clearly trespassing now and would likely end up with a bullet in the ass; folks in the Country didn't take to kindly to strangers taking a stroll through their back yards.

The front door opened slowly and Daryl stopped, his body tensed ready to make a break for it; the old man hobbled out onto the porch, his white hair and beard making him look a little like a certain festive favourite of children.

"_Well I'll be damned if it isn't young Daryl Dixon"_

Daryl stepped back cautiously, the older man moved slowly down the porch steps and came clearer into view, Squinting his eyes against the sun Daryl felt a stab of recognition; He knew this man.

Stopping just a few feet shy of Daryl He surveyed his appearance; gone was the malnourished teenager with hollowed eyes; He was still a timid creature, that much was obvious but he'd grown up, his body filled out and there was a fiery look in his eyes.

"_How are ya, son?"_ Daryl hadn't ever been called 'son' not once in his entire life; His father usually stuck with 'boy' He didn't know how to feel about it, part of him wanted to correct the man, tell him he weren't his son; but he also kinda liked it.

Grabbing at the back of his hair Daryl took another step back _"I know you, old man?"_

The man's heavily bearded mouth lifted into a warm smile, Daryl noticed that he relied on the carved wooden stick that had aided his walking. _"That you do, son. It's Hershel… Hershel Green"_

Daryl's head cocked and he scanned through his memories of Woodbury, trying to place the old man; he kept drawing a blank. But the surname – Green? That was Maggie's surname. _"You Maggie's pop?"_ Hershel's smile grew at the mention of his daughter's name. _"I sure am, proud'ta be too"_ Daryl saw the obvious pride in the man's worn face, it was an alien thing to him, his old man had never once looked like that while talking about his youngest.

Daryl nodded once and pulled out his pack of smokes, setting one between his lips as he drew the lighter up and lit it up; he extended his hand, tilting the pack in Hershel's direction. _"No thanks, son… gave those up a long time ago"_ Daryl dropped the pack back into his pocket and surveyed the stick once more, lifting his chin toward it he mumbled _"what'ya do?"_ Hershel followed Daryl's stare and gestured with the stick towards the porch swing _"how about we sit down? Could do with restin' it and you can tell me all about what you've been doing these past few years"_

Daryl stepped back once more, shaking his head as he took a deep drag on the cigarette _"ain't got time, old man"_ Hershel frowned at the response to his offer; He noticed the coldness that radiated from the boy he'd rescued all that time ago, Shane Dixon really did have a lot to answer for. _"Common' son, make an ol'man happy? I get awful lonely while Maggie's at work!"_

Daryl didn't understand what willed him but he found himself agreeing with a slight nod of his head, He followed Hershel up to the porch, opting to lean against the white pillars that surrounded the veranda He noted the relief in the old man's face as he took the weight off his leg. _"How comes I don 'remember ya? You and Maggie lived here long?"_ Daryl picked at the fraying material on the arm of his sleeveless denim shirt, lifting his eyes to Hershel every so often.

"_I've lived here all my life, son! My father owned this farm and his father before him and his father before that. It's been in my family for generations"_ He paused and considered his next words, wondering what kind of reaction they would encourage _"I knew your daddy"_ This grabbed Daryl's attention and his head snapped up, his cool grey eyes fixing on Hershel, his cheeks flared as he clenched his jaw _"don' call him that!"_

Daryl could still hear the words now, his father slurring them, his hot breath sending waves of sickness over him _"common' now boy, be good for daddy"_ He shook the memory off, his knuckles whitening as he gripped against the pillar. Hershel recognised the signs, he felt an anger surge through his aging body, an anger he'd not felt for a long time, not since his beloved wife had passed. He wanted desperately to reach out to the broken, young man that stood before him, he couldn't though, and he knew that; Daryl Dixon was much like one of the broken stallions he had at the farm, you needed to earn his trust, take the slow and gentle approach.

Instead he worked on reminding Daryl of that night….

"_I fixed you up once, damn fine mess you were in! You remember that, Daryl?"_ Daryl's bitterness now replaced with vagueness, his eyes glazed over and he searched his brain, sifted through the tangle of memories that he tried so hard to lock away; he searched all the same, until he found it.

"_It was you, tha'night... the night my brother... Merle, tha'night Merle beat seven shades'a crap outta' me"_ Hershel didn't speak, he just nodded, his eyes searching Daryl for something other than pain and hatred.

Daryl straightened up, clearing his throat as he pushed back his shoulders _"Yeah well, don 'mean we're best friends or nuthin' don 'go thinkin' I owe you somethin', old man"_ He curled his lip as He looked out over the flourishing grounds, the horses that galloped around the neighbouring paddock _"seems to me like ya got a pretty good set up here anyways"_ Hershel followed Daryl's gaze, the boy was right, he did have a mighty fine life, but it hadn't come easy to him, he'd had to work for it, he'd had to work damn hard and he'd almost lost it more than once.

"_You don't owe me anythin' Daryl; I just wanted you to know I'm here, y'know? If you ever need to talk"_

Daryl's eyes blazed, he straightened and backed towards the steps, a scowl set on his face _"Whad'ya know, old man? Why's it everyone thinks I need'ta talk? I don'need'ta talk! I dun need nothin' not from you, Merle, Maggie or Carol. What I need is ta be left alone!"_

Hershel stood slowly, his shoulders slumped as he watched that once frightened young man saddle himself with more anger. _"Daryl I didn't mean ta..."_ He didn't give him the chance to finish; instead he turned his back and took the steps two at a time, his words faded as he continued to walk.

"_Forget it, old man... forget it an' forget you"_


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh you are all amazing! I am constantly encouraged to keep writing more and more because of ya'll. Thank you endless amounts!**

**I own none of the characters.**

Carol fixed up her face the best she could, she sighed at her reflection, no amount of makeup would disguise the shiner she'd have in the morning; people knew though, she was only too aware of that, still... she'd preserve as much of her dignity as she could.

She looked in on Merle on her way down to the bar, he was sprawled out on the bed, his mouth parted, his chest rising and falling heavily with every snore and grumble; she pulled the door closed on him; he'd be comatose all evening now, that was one blessing from the earlier incident.

Carol's thoughts turned to Daryl as she entered the kitchen, the chocolate icing now hardened in the bowl, her efforts wasted; not that he'd want anything from her, not now, not after she'd banished him for trying to protect her!

A pang of guilt and pain stabbed her chest as she recalled the look of dismay and shock on his face as she snapped for him to go, hell it had only been a short time before then that she'd prayed for his return after thinking he'd abandoned them again... abandoned her.

Now she was sure he really had gone and this time he wouldn't come back!

Daryl took a slow walk back towards The Tavern, his head pounded and his muscles felt heavy, weighing him down as he pushed himself to continue, He didn't know what would await him when he walked through the door, hell Carol could be dead for all he knew; his pace quickened as that thought entered his head, he shouldn't have left her! It didn't matter how hard she protested, he shouldn't have listened!

A wave of panic took hold of his gut, the same kind of panic that consumed him when his bedroom door would slowly creek open in the dead of the night, the same kind of panic that would send his body into shock when the stench of whisky laced breath washed over his face...

"_NO!" _he shouted out loud_ "NO! Its over! Forget it, dumbass!" _But those memories would never stop coming; they'd haunt him until the day he died.

Stopping short of the entrance He took a moment to compose himself, the conversation with Hershel Green had his head all messed up! "Stupid ol'man" he mumbled to himself "needs' a mind his own, damn business!"

Maggie looked up as Daryl pushed through the door, his eyes squinting, his mouth clenched and his body took on a guarded stance as he looked about the bar; the evening rush had started to filter in and Rick Grimes called for Maggie's attention _"one for the road please, Mags"_ She smiled absently and popped the lid off the bottle of bud, placing it on the bar in front of him, her eyes still fixing on Daryl as he weaved through the bodies, he was looking for someone – Merle or Carol, she wasn't sure, but if his charged exit earlier had been anything to go by she guessed Merle was the answer.

"_You alright, Maggie?"_ she looked up to find Rick throwing her a look of concern, she nodded enthusiastically _"Yeah, sure am!"_ she wanted to tell him of her concerns; Officer Grimes was easy to talk to, understanding even but should she really let him in on the private business of the Dixon's, she decided no.

"_So I hear there's a new Dixon in town?"_ Rick hadn't known Daryl before he'd left, He and his wife Lorrie moved to Woodbury only 4 years ago, after Rick had been transferred, he was waiting it out for the Sheriffs position.

"_You mean Daryl?"_ she asked, her eyes still flicking over to him as he walked through to the back, Rick turned and caught a glimpse of his back before he disappeared _"He bad news like his brother?"_ Maggie shook her head _"No! Not at all. Daryl's... Daryl's one of the good ones"_ Ricks assumption had gotten her wound up now _"Just because they share the same name, don't mean Daryl's a class A Jerk like his brother!"_

Rick seemed surprised by her response _" I'm not accusing anyone of anything, Maggie!"_ she surprised herself with the genuine frustration that Rick's comments had resulted in; Daryl was constantly misunderstood and that annoyed her.

"_Missed a bit"_ Carol turned with surprise at the sound of his voice, her hand lifting to cover her nose; it was an instinctual reaction following a beating from Merle.

Her other hand clutched the scouring pad, a bead of sweat trickled down her forehead; she'd scrubbed every inch of the kitchen, maybe in an attempt to remove all memory of the night's horrific events.

He lifted his chin towards her _"how's tha'nose?"_ He fidgeted slightly, shifting from one foot onto the other _"He clocked ya one pretty darn good"_

Carol's eyes searched his face, he shouldn't be like this, he should be angry with her! But instead he was concerned with how she was, even after the way she'd dismissed him.

"_I'm sorry, Daryl"_ her voice barely audible He shrugged, lifting his hand to rub his shoulder _"don 'matter, not like you owe me anything'"_ Her heart dropped, he looked so despondent, his eyes empty; she stepped closer, her hand reaching out to him, He flinched away, his head dipped and he cast his gaze as far away from her as he could _"don' don't do that! I don't need ya pity, Carol; ya should just save that for yaself!"_

Her eyes brimmed with tears that burned, her chest ached as he turned his body away from her, never had anyone made her feel so alone and desperate.

She gave up the hopeless task of shielding her face, dropping her arms to her body as she wrapped them around her stomach, taking comfort in the warmth they provided.

"_Daryl I don't expect you to understand, god knows I find it hard to understand myself! But he's my husband and when I made my vows I meant them, for better or worse..."_ her voice drifted, her eyes stared into the distance, not registering his presence.

"_Till death do you part huh?"_ his words carried a bitterness that struck her hard.

He closed the space between them, his body tense but so close she could smell the mixture of sweat and motorcycle oil that tainted his skin; she couldn't bring herself to meet with his gaze, she instead concentrated on the torn fabric around his knee, there was never a time that Daryl wore anything not ripped or frayed.

"_Ya know what though, Carol? That don' mean ya have' a stick with it until ya actually die!"_ She could feel his eyes drifting over her face _"cuz that's what'll happen ya know?"_ she chewed against her bottom lip, those tears that had threatened her eyes now rolling uncontrollably down her face; his voice softened slightly _"He'll kill ya, Carol.. don' ya understand that? He'll kill ya!"_

Daryl didn't know where the words were coming from, they tumbled from his mouth, leaving him with no chance of control; He meant them though, she would die at the hand of Merle and someone needed to make her understand the danger she put herself in every day that she chose to stay.

His hand lifted, his fingers brushing against her cheek, shocking both He and Carol, the action was so alien to him but at the same time nothing could have felt more natural; her skin was soft, the tears dampening it slightly, he could swear he felt her tremble.

Pulling his hand away almost as quickly as he'd lifted it towards her he jumped back, thrusting his hands deep into the pockets of his pants he stole fleeting looks at her surprised expression _"I... I'm sorry, that was, uh... I shouldn't' a... shouldn't' a done that!"_

He turned to leave, his shoulders tensed as he felt her fingers brush against the bare skin at his shoulder _"Daryl, wait! Don't... don't leave again!"_ she pleaded with him, he stayed with his back facing her, the despair took hold of him and he wished that he could leave, he wished that he could walk away again, walk and keep walking, not once looking back; it was too late though, he couldn't leave her to deal with Merle, not again.

"_Not leavin', just gettin' a drink"_ his words fell with a mumble from his mouth as he moved out of her reach.

"_Whisky"_ he demanded as Maggie stood before him, she didn't attempt to converse with him, that made a pleasant change!

He took out a cigarette and closed his eyes as the nicotine fumes engulfed his nose, drawing in a mouthful of relief he rested his foot against the bar, his head dropping back slightly; the day's events had given him a headache _"damn women!"_ he muttered to himself.

"_And what did we do to you, huh?"_ He looked up from beneath his lashes, wisps of hair hanging over his eyes _"Scuze me?"_

She rested her elbows against the bar, her hazel eyes boring deep into his, making him feel increasingly uncomfortable, he shifted in his seat, leaning further back, away from her.

"_You cursed women; we're not all bad y'know?"_ He thought he could sense a note of humour in her voice, his lack of experience with women made it hard to call though.

He took a slug of whisky and raised his brow _"no? Well guess I just gotta take your word for that..."_ surprisingly he found the corner of his mouth twitch, suddenly she didn't seem as annoying as before, or was that the anger over his earlier conversation with Carol making him think that? Did he subconsciously wanna get back at her for rejecting his help? She was jealous of Maggie, he'd been sure of that.

His senses heightened immediately as he felt a heavy hand grip his shoulder, pushing himself back from the bar he stood quickly, he squared his shoulders and puffed out his chest; the deputy Sheriffs badge shone proudly on the breast of the cop's uniform, he didn't look like much, Daryl knew he could take him.

A pair of cool blue eyes started back at him as the owner of the hand held up his arms in mock surrender _"Whoa! didn't mean to startle you, Mr. Dixon"_

'Mr Dixon?' Daryl hated anyone that used formalities with him _"Whad'ya want?"_ Daryl's husky voice bore evidence of suspicion, the only dealings he'd ever had with the law were unpleasant.

He could feel Maggie's eyes boring into the back of his head.

The young officer stood back, putting a couple of feet between them, He'd known men like Daryl Dixon before, and they didn't take too kindly to invasion of their space_. "Just wanted to introduce myself to you, Mr. Dixon..."_ Daryl interrupted suddenly _"Daryl, it's just Daryl" _

The stranger held out his hand, Daryl eyed it cautiously and gripped it _"Well, just Daryl; my name is officer Grimes, but my friends call me Rick"_

"_We ain't gonna be friends!"_ Daryl mumbled _"so, can I help ya with somethin'?"_ Rick smiled and shook his head, Daryl noticed him look past his shoulder, towards Maggie.

"_Like I said, just wanted to introduce myself, you have a nice evening, Daryl" _

He watched the officer leave the bar, he nodded in acknowledgement towards several men before disappearing the other side of the door; Daryl flinched and spun round as He felt her breath against the back of his neck, her shoulder pressed against his back _"well... that was awkward"_

He caught sight of Maggie out the corner of his eye, still fixing his attention towards the door, almost as though he suspected Officer Grimes might make an encore.

He grunted in response _"Could' a warned me!"_ she didn't move, her close proximity was making his stomach summersault, she giggled lightly _"warned you of what? Rick's a good guy, he and his wife Lorie live just down the way with their son Carl and daughter Sophia, they're good folks, Daryl"_

He grunted again and turned back towards the bar, deciding not to make himself comfortable this time, his fingers toyed with the glass, moving it gently as he watched the golden liquid slosh against the rim.

"_Hey Daryl?"_ he sighed and flicked his eyes towards her, she leaned against the bar, her tank top exposing a little more than he thought he should be seeing; He swallowed hard and dropped his gaze once more; the damn girl didn't give up!

"_Whad'ya want, Maggie?"_ his eyes darted about, he caught her chewing against the side of her lip _"well... there's this fair, tomorrow night and uh... well I wondered if maybe you'd wanna... take me?"_

He choked on a mouthful of whisky, his eyes burned into the bar, had she really just asked him to take her out!?

Just as he prepared the 'thanks but no thanks' answer Carol stepped behind the bar, her nose expertly covered up, something she'd clearly had plenty of practice with, she eyed Maggie and Daryl suspiciously _"what you two plotting?"_

Daryl slammed the empty glass down against the bar and pushed himself back _"Was just takin' Maggie here up on her request"_ Carol narrowed her eyes _"oh? What request is that?"_ Maggie's smile stretched from ear to ear.

Daryl caught Carol's eye as he directed his response to Maggie _"guess I'll come by for ya tomorrow night, don' keep me waitin'"_

He left the bar, craving the solace of his room, he wasn't used to being around so many people, it was suffocating.

He flopped down on his bed and his mind drifted to Carol, he wondered how she felt about his plans with Maggie, wondered if it bothered her as much as he suspected it did; he didn't have to wonder for long though, a light tap against his door disturbed his thoughts.

"_Daryl? It's me can I come in please?" _


	7. Chapter 7

**Firstly I apologise for keeping ya'll waiting! I've had the most hectic couple of weeks and the story had to take place on the back burner, I'm sorry.**

**However I hope ya'll like this, as always... reviews are most welcomed.**

**I own none of the characters.**

Carol hesitated before entering the sparse room, it really was depressing in there, she should have made more effort to brighten it up for him!

He stood with his shoulders hunched, hands buried deep within his jean pockets, he didn't look at her but then he never really did.

Her heart ached for him, he'd grown into a fine man but she still saw evidence of the scared and lonely teenager she'd first met all those years ago; those demons still haunted him, she knew those demons all too well.

She noticed his bag remained unpacked, he'd not made himself at home, not one little bit "planning a quick get away?" she questioned, her attention on the bag.

He kicked it lightly and shrugged his shoulders "never planned on stickin' about" his words hit her hard, she wasn't really sure why he'd come back, maybe it had been to try at forming some kind of relationship with his brother; she had hoped that maybe it had partly been for her, how foolish she had been.

Carol wrung her hands together, focusing her attention on the bag before stealing a quick look up at him "why did you come back, Daryl? Was it..." she hesitated, not knowing if she should even attempt to hold this conversation with him "was it really for Merle?"

He sat down on the edge of the bed, his arms resting against his legs as he dropped his head, wisps of hair hung down over his face, blocking her any view of his reaction to her question.

She noticed him toying with the tear in his jeans; he'd always had these quirky habits when he was nervous about something.

"Kinda"

"Kinda?" she repeated "so it's not the entire reason?" she cautiously stepped forwards, bending her knees so that her face was level with his; She sensed his discomfort but didn't retreat.

He flinched as he felt her fingers graze against his knee, damn woman! Why did she insist on getting up in his space all the time!?

He cleared his throat, forcing a sense of calm, despite the fact that his insides were twisting together with sheer discomfort of the situation "it really matter why I came back?" he didn't think it did, he was here now, surly that's all that mattered!

He lifted his eyes slowly, she chewed against her bottom lip, it looked sore from Merle's right hook and he wished she wouldn't make it worse; and what was that in her eyes? Not more tears he hoped! Women and tears didn't mix well with Daryl.

Panicking about the possible impending breakdown He searched for something else to say, something to distract her.

"Why'd ya cut ya hair?"

It seemed to work, she looked up at him, her eyes meeting his before he could drag his gaze away quickly; her hand instinctively went to the back of her head, her fingers toying with the soft curls that teased the back of her neck.

"Oh, it was too much to manage, and... well... Merle, He didn't like it much"

Her response sent a tidal wave of anger through Daryl, of course Merle didn't like it, Merle didn't like anything that drew attention to Carol.

He snarled and rose from the bed in one sudden movement, Carol stood quickly and backed away, the bruise now forming spread across her nose and framed her left eye, its yellowish tinge penetrating any makeup she had expertly applied.

"How'd ya do it, Carol?" she frowned and considered the question, her hands appeared to be trembling as she linked her fingers together.

"Do what?" she asked, her voice full of defeat.

He grabbed at the hair that tickled the back of his head, beads of sweat licked the top of his back and he felt his sleeveless shirt sticking to him "how'd ya stick at it? Keep smilin' and pretendin' everythin's alright?"

She shrugged her bony shoulders and offered him a weak smile "I'll answer your question if you answer mine..."

Daryl sighed and lifted his hands, allowing them to drop against his sides "wanted to see ma brother" she nodded and dropped her gaze to the bare floorboards.

"An I... I was worried"

"Worried?" she questioned, her eyes sparkling with a sudden hope.

He shuffled on the spot; the close proximity and quick fire round of questions were really testing his ability to keep cool and calm under pressure.

"Yeah" He mumbled, his eyes suddenly meeting with hers in a long intense gaze, Carol felt her heart pound inside her chest; she knew he'd hate having to say it out loud and she didn't want to make him feel like he had to.

He took a step closer, the intensity in his eyes had her holding her breath, and in all of the time she had known Daryl Dixon she had never had such an intense experience with him as this.

He tilted his head towards the door "hadn't ya best see ta ma brother?" she'd forgotten about the sedated Merle for a handful of seconds, it seemed that most things drifted from her mind whenever she was around Daryl.

He adjusted his shirt, his hands needing to be kept busy, he didn't know what to do with himself, he'd always been awkward but being around her only heightened that awkwardness; he couldn't make sense of it, out of most people he'd come into contact with, Carol was the most constant part of his life, he should feel nothing but comfortable around her.

She chewed against her lip and it made her appear even more vulnerable than he already knew she was, her once sparkling eyes were tinged with a weary tiredness and he found himself wanting to take care of her, he'd never wanted to take care of anyone before, much less a female.

Carol let her eyes roam over his face, he hated it when she did that, he felt naked to her, not physically but worse... mentally and emotionally, he felt like she was judging him and he didn't need that, not from anyone and especially not from some damn female.

"Don' do that!" he snapped and he instantly noticed the dismay flash across her face "do... what?" he shrugged "tha' look... ya look at me like I'm wounded" he lowered his shoulders and kicked his boot against the bare floorboards "don' need that from you, or anyone, don' need ya sympathy"

Carol hesitated slightly before responding, she could feel her heart pounding against her chest and her breath caught in her throat "I'm just sorry you're always the one caught up in the middle of everything, Daryl"

He narrowed his eyes, his hands wringing awkwardly together "Middle' a what?" Carol suddenly realised that this would be the first time she had ever truly spoken of her relationship with Merle, Daryl was the person she'd decided to confide in; perhaps it was because he wouldn't or couldn't judge her or perhaps it was because she knew that he understood, out of everyone, even Laurie and Maggie, Daryl would truly understand.

His squinted eyes followed her as she moved past him, sitting down on the edge of the bed, He found himself backing away, towards the door; he didn't like how comfortable she seemed to be making herself.

Although nothing about her composure suggested 'comfort' instead she fidgeted and dropped her head, studying every crack in the floor.

"He wasn't always like this... well... not this bad anyhow; things were good once" she looked up briefly causing Daryl to avert his gaze, if the dumb bitch thought she could pour her heart out and he'd look right into her eyes whilst she did it, she had another think coming.

"It got worse after you left, after... what happened that night"

And there it was that familiar sinking feeling, the relentless guilt and pain that was the result of any mention of that night.

Daryl's brows knitted together in confusion "you're blamin' me?" He didn't give her the chance to respond before continuing "Ya really think its ma fault?" Carol looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise, but still he continued "You're a piece' a work ya know that?" Daryl's voice grew louder, more aggressive, he paced back and forth, the floorboards creaking beneath his heavy step "Ya all the same! You women! Always lookin' to blame someone else! Ya never stop' ta think it's your fault? Maybe ya wind him up! Maybe ya ask for it!"

Carol shrunk back away from the sudden outburst of rage, pulling her dull cardigan around her slender body, she hated this side of Daryl, it was the side that most reminded her of Merle and their father.

"It's no wonder ma brother looses it! With ya goin' on at him like this! Hell I'd swing for ya myself"

He stopped pacing now, his cheeks flaring as he struggled to calm himself, she caught the fiery spark in his eyes but they seemed to soften as they met with her gaze, dipping his head in what seemed like shame he began to pick at the small rip at the side of his sleeveless shirt.

Carol swallowed deeply and stood from the bed, he flinched as she stepped closer, closing the gap between them "I understand, Daryl; I know you're angry and you don't know how to vent it, just like Merle, it's not you're..."

He didn't give her the chance to finish as that smouldering fire reignited deep within his eyes once more, his hands gripped firmly against her shoulders as he pushed her back, there was nowhere left to go as her body came in contact with the wall, the grip wasn't hard, his fingers didn't sink into her flesh as they did whenever Merle took this hold upon her but it shocked and frightened her all the same, Carol wondered if Daryl was right, did she ask for it?

His tongue wetted his bottom lip as his mouth lifted into a snarl, she could feel the warmth of his breath brush against her chin, the manly scent of him engulfing her and suddenly something strange happened, something unexpected.

Daryl's eyes softened and the earlier vulnerability crept back in, he released his hand from her right shoulder and hesitantly brushed his fingers against her cheek; she was mesmerised by him, her eyes studying his face, drinking him in.

His eyes flicked over her face and she felt naked, it felt as though he was stripping her bare, seeing deep into her soul; his voice now lowered to a whisper "don' do that again! Don' push me, Carol, and don' ever compare me to him" he dropped his gaze briefly "don' compare me to neither of' em"

She gasped for air as he turned away and slammed the bedroom door closed behind him, her hand clutched against her chest, checking that her heart was still beating.

Carol had realised something in those few moments with Daryl, he wasn't like his brother, he was nothing like him and she needed him in her life, she needed him more then she'd ever needed anything or anyone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Firstly, I'm sorry this update has taken a while, been SO busy with Christmas stuff! Its been hectic! Thank ya'll for sticking with me though, I really appreciate it. **

**Hope you enjoy this update.**

**I own none of the characters.**

Daryl scratched the back of his neck, drawing deep on his cigarette he kicked against the dry and broken ground; his eyes flicked briefly up towards the well maintained farm house.

The horse in the nearby paddock startling him as he jumped to the side and glared at the imposing yet beautiful creature.

"_Jesus Christ!"_ he muttered under his breath _"darn place is full' a dumb horses!"_ the porch door creaked open and Hershel's familiar and somewhat reassuring presence was obvious.

He nodded in Daryl's direction and motioned him forwards with his hand _"common in, son"_ he called; Daryl sighed and crushed the smoke underneath his work boot, giving his bike a last check he reluctantly followed Hershel's instruction.

He hovered nervously just inside the doorway, feeling slightly reassured as the open door rested against his back.

His slanted gaze swept quickly over the room, it wasn't anything like the living quarters of The Tavern; Daryl had never seen any place furnished with such luxury before, he blinked several times, thinking the real interior would reveal itself eventually.

"_Can I get you a drink, Son?"_ Hershel brought Daryl back to reality and he shook his head firmly _"No..."_ he caught Hershel's eyes _"thanks, no thanks"_

Daryl caught himself on occasion, reminding his brain to remind his mouth of manners, he had a darn sight more of those than Merle; his old man had been sure to beat them into him.

And there they were again, those memories threatening his head, mocking him with their relentless power.

He had regretted agreeing to take Maggie to the fair almost instantly, he knew now that he'd only done it to get a rise out of Carol, what he couldn't work out was why! What did it matter to him what Carol thought or how she felt? Typical woman, infecting his brain already!

He eyed Hershel's walking aid and found himself wondering how this seemingly frail old man took care of his land and the animals; he'd never seen sign of any farm hands and with her regular shifts at The Tavern Maggie sure as hell couldn't devote much time to the place.

"_Stampede"_ Hershel exclaimed, Daryl frowned and eyed the old man with confusion _"What?"_ Hershel smiled warmly, not just a half and forced smile but one that lifted his kind eyes and offered nothing but sincerity _"You asked me how I hurt my leg, when you were last here. It was a stampede; doc removed it, saved my life"_

Daryl had a sudden and new found respect for the aging man, if he'd lost a leg because of a bunch of dumb animals he sure as hell wouldn't wanna keep any of them around still and he damn well wouldn't be smiling when he spoke about it.

Hershel regarded him with a look of concern, Daryl shifted slightly, wrapping his arms around his chest; He'd tried to make a little more effort with his appearance, he hadn't lost the facial scruff, nor had he done anything with his mussed up, wispy hair but he had worn a long sleeve button down shirt and even splashed a little cologne on.

"_What are your intentions towards my daughter, Daryl?"_

Daryl's eyes widened and he considered making a run for it; He'd not banked on this kind of interrogation when he begrudgingly agreed to take Maggie to the fair, He didn't even wanna be here in the first place and he certainly didn't want a man to man 'chat' about Maggie's honour.

Maggie stole one last look at her appearance, tucking her cropped brunette hair behind her ears she spritzed a little sweet perfume across her neck; She'd agonised for almost 2 hours over what to wear; if Daryl Dixon was anything like his brother He'd not want her exposing any unnecessary flesh.

She'd settled on a white shirt and tight jeans that hugged her curves in all the right places.

She sensed unease as she breezed into the living room, her eyes shot over to Daryl, He couldn't have looked any more uncomfortable if her father had been stood there naked! And Hershel stood leaning heavily against his walking aid, his chest puffed out and a look of determination across his face.

She quickly intervened, Daryl looked as though he might be about to make a run for it; _"Daryl? Shall we go?"_

He averted his gaze and nodded before she had finished the question, Hershel smiled over at her _"you look beautiful, honey"_ He shot a prompting look over at Daryl _"doesn't she look beautiful, Daryl?" _

Maggie bit her lip and felt the colour rise to her cheeks, this isn't what she'd had in mind for the start of their first date; or was she wrong? Was it not a date but a sick ploy at generating some kind of reaction from Carol? Maggie had suspected that the moment Daryl agreed to take her out; she felt certain though that by the end of the evening she would of had a positive effect over him.

She rushed forwards and took hold of Daryl's forearm, he flinched instantly at the feel of her touch and she felt his muscles twitch against her fingers.

"_See ya later, daddy, won't be late"_ she called as the porch door slammed shut behind them; Daryl shrugged his arm from her grip the moment they stepped foot outside, Maggie followed him down the steps and set eyes on the motorcycle that sat in front of them; Daryl didn't look back at her, he grabbed the helmet and extended his arm in her direction _"I... I can't, uh..."_ Daryl shot a sideways glance at her, his eyes narrowed _"can't wha?"_ Maggie tilted her head towards the bike _"I can't... get on... that!" _

Daryl screwed his nose up and squinted his eyes in bemusement _"why?"_ Maggie took a step back, her eyes fixed to the intimidating heap of metal _"I've never... well I've never even sat on a bike!"_ Daryl shrugged and swung his leg expertly over the seat "_how's else did' ya think we'd be gettin' there?"_

Maggie took a cautious step forwards, reaching out and running her fingers lightly over the handle bar; Daryl moved his hand away instantly, couldn't risk human contact!

"_I thought maybe you'd be borrowin' Merle's truck..." _

Daryl laughed at this and Maggie realised it was the first time she'd seen a proper smile lift his lips _"ya thought I'd borra Merle's truck!? Ya really thought that?"_ He was mocking her and it pissed her off _"Na, Merle don lend nothin' out speshly not his truck!"_ he ran his eyes over her briefly _"it's tha bike or nothin'"_

He reached around and patted the back seat "make ya mind up though, don' bother me eitha way"

She lifted her leg hesitantly and stumbled as her foot caught the wheel, her hands clutched the back of his worn leather jacket as she attempted to steady herself _"y'alright?"_ he asked as she slid back, her palms resting against his back. She could feel the intoxicating dawn heat soaking through her shirt, her heart raced against her ribcage and her breathing became shallow, was he really asking if she was ok!?

He hit the kick start peddle and she felt a vibration surge through her body, the nose of the engine engulfed them, Daryl's shout could just about be heard over it _"best keep a' hold' a me"_

She barely had time to heed his advice as the bike surged forwards, she felt the need to scream but her throat found no noise, instead a smile spread across her mouth, the rush of freedom was taking over and the feel of Daryl's steady, strong body against hers shut out any doubts she'd had that tonight would be a failure.

The distant sound of rides and laughter filled the air, Daryl felt his body stiffen and it was only made worse by the obvious excitement of Maggie; she skipped along, her fingers curled around his forearm as she dragged him into the hum of the crowd.

He squinted against the bright lights as bodies barged into him, gritting his teeth he reluctantly followed her through the mass, children cried, parents shouted and young lovers made out; it was every inch the nightmare for Daryl.

"_Can you shoot?"_ Daryl frowned against the intrusive noises _"wha?" "Shoot! Can you shoot?"_ Maggie repeated; Daryl nodded in response "a bit"

She squealed and pulled against his arm, guiding him towards the over lit stall, row upon row of brightly coloured stuffed animals hung from its ceiling; Daryl looked over the row of crossbows that stood attached to a bar, he lifted his eyes and saw the zombie faces staring back at him.

Maggie took out some change and thrust it towards the stall holder, He placed a heavy hand against Daryl's shoulder and urged him forwards _"Ya get 4 arrows; hit the zombie between the eyes and the pretty girl gets a soft toy!"_

Daryl sighed and nodded in understanding, as tormenting as this whole experience was He felt the most comfortable at the stall.

He caught Maggie out the corner of his eye, she smiled expectantly and clapped her hands together _"good luck!"_ she mouthed.

Maggie hugged the stuffed animal against her chest, her enthusiasm was giving Daryl a headache, He pinched the bridge of his nose, not realising she had been watching him closely.

"_Something wrong?"_ Daryl snatched his arm away as she brushed her hand against it _"I'm Fine! And don' do that!"_

"_Do what?" she questioned "keep touchin' me! Ain't no dog ya can pet!"_ Maggie chewed against her lip, she gave him the space he so clearly desired and nodded _"I understand"_

Daryl sighed inwardly, it was for exactly this reason that he avoided women! They were too damn complicated.

Daryl spent the remainder of the evening playing the dutiful date, he drew the line at holding hands though; not that Maggie even attempted any kind of physical contact following Daryl's earlier warning.

They bumped into the over friendly Officer Grimes and his ever so perfect family, Daryl nodded and forced conversation where required, he did feel thankful for their meeting though, it resulted in Maggie hitching a ride home with them, she hadn't been overly enthralled about being on the back of the bike in the dark... which suited Daryl fine.

Carol heard the distinct roar of the engine, the bar had been quiet and Merle decided to spend the night in bed, it suited her, meant she didn't have endure his drunken state lounging over the bar, leering at any young thing that came in.

She closed half an hour early and started to bottle up ready for the next day; she found herself wondering if the decision to do so had been driven by the urge to see Daryl when he came home, her mind had drifted agonisingly to what fun he might be having with Maggie. She shouldn't care, she knew that; Daryl was her brother-in-law for god sake! And she was mooning over him like some lovesick teenager!

The beer crate slipped from her grasp, _"Damnit!"_ she shouted. The weight of the falling crate was suddenly supported and as she looked up Carol met with his cool gaze _"cursin' Carol? Never thought I'd see tha day!"_ Daryl smirked lightly and took the crate from her, setting it down on the bar.

She hugged her cardigan close against her body, he looked... different, good; she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him in a button down.

He took a step back and his hands sunk deep inside the pockets of his jeans _"did you and Maggie have a nice time?"_

He shrugged, his muscular shoulders straining slightly against the shirts material; Carol chewed against the inside of her mouth, she didn't really want to hear tales of their 'date' but the tortured side of her pushed for an answer.

"_Did you eat out? Need me to fix you something up?"_ Daryl shook his head, she watched his cheeks flare, he looked agitated and Carol started to regret her line of questioning _"didn't eat, don't wan' nothin', not hungry... thanks"_

Carol tilted her head, she kept trying to catch his eyes, He knew he should at least look at her, he'd created this messy, headfuck situation, the least he could do was brave it out.

"_Daryl... is everything... ok? I mean, you did have a good night, right?"_

Her determination to continue talking about the car wreck of a 'date' he'd had with Maggie sent him over the edge; He closed the gap between them, Carol gasped as her lower back made contact with the bar, his wild eyes frantically searched her face, what was it about her? What was it that made his head so crazy?

He inhaled a deep breath and focused on her pupils, they expanded and he ignored his reflection in their surface _"Stop askin' about my night with Maggie! You ain't interested! N' really!"_ Carol's gaze dropped to the small area of floor that stood between them, Daryl lifted his hand, hesitating slightly before pressing his forefinger under her chin, he tilted her face until her eyes were level with his. The tears brimmed and he prayed they'd not overflow, he really couldn't deal with more female emotions!

He softened his voice, he'd been shouting before and Carol had enough of that in her life, she had enough of that from his waste of space brother _"Ya wanna know how ma night went? Ya really wanna know?" _

Carol sucked against her bottom lip and nodded, she daren't drag her eyes away from his for fear of never looking into them again, her voice barely audible _"yes, I want to know"_

She could feel his breath now, beer tinged with cigarettes, it was intoxicating

"_Weren't one second that I didn't wish you were with me instead' a her" _


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for sticking with me, people! I know this update has been a long time coming; Christmas has really put me behind! Anyhow, the wait is over... here it is, enjoy.**

**I own none of the Characters.**

Carol had worked hard at avoiding Daryl since that morning, she didn't know how to take the admission that had surprisingly fallen from his mouth, He hardly spoke... ever! And to hear such words shocked her to her core.

Daryl avoided the bar, he had avoided Maggie and Carol knew why, He didn't know how to deal with the situation, Maggie had talked of nothing but Daryl since their supposed date the previous night, Carol forced enthusiasm for the young girl, but every time she did Daryl's words played over in her mind _"Weren't one second that I didn't wish you were with me instead' a her" _

Carol shook off the memory and busied herself cooking Merle and Daryl's supper; a small smile teased at her lips, it made all the difference cooking for a man that ate with appreciation, Merle usually turned his nose up at whatever was put in front of him, not Daryl though... He ate as if it might be his last meal; Carol guessed that's what living on the road did to someone.

Merle snarled as he looked into the pan, Carol felt the familiar tension surrounding her, he hadn't changed since the day before and the stale stench of cigarettes and whisky filled the room.

He walked slowly towards her, his grey whiskers dominating his jaw and neck, the familiar sadistic look in his eyes "_cookin' dinner for ma baby brother_?"

Carol kept her eyes down and continued washing the dishes, her body tensed as she felt him approach, Merles rough hands wrapped around her waist, his mouth brushed against her ear, she swallowed back the bile that threatened her mouth as his breath washed over her neck "_don get use' ta him bein' here, sweetheart... ain't no permanent thing_!"

His fingers grazed her chin as he rested his palm against her collarbone "_Y' think he's gonna rescue ya, don' ya_?" Carol made noise to deny his suggestion; he cut her off before she could form any words "_Ma baby brother don care bout' cha! He don care bout nobody_!"

Carol gripped the edge of the counter, she concentrated on steadying herself, pushing back the crippling fear and forcing as much strength as possible in her voice.

"_You're wrong_"

Merle inhaled a raspy breath "_I'm sorry! What did ya jus say_?" She felt his fingers slide higher, curling around her neck.

"_I just... I just think he came back here for a reason! I think he wants to mend things, Merle_"

She gasped as he spun her round, his nose pressed against hers as he spat his words with venom "_Tha boy don care bout nobody! He ran because he's a pussy! Can't face his mistakes_!"

Carol's eyes searched his face, she didn't know what she hoped to find but she still had hope.

"_He was scared, Merle! He was a boy when he did what he did! He was frightened, and_..."

"_ENOUGH_!" He screamed, his left hand pushed against her waist, fingers curled and sinking into her flesh, she closed her mouth, holding her lips tightly together.

"_Ma baby brother destroyed this family tha night! An I don give' a shit tha he's come back_" Merle moved his hand to the back of Carol's neck, his fingers clinging onto what little hair she had, a small whimper escaped her as he pushed her head back, his whiskered mouth rough against her neck "_ya care bout him, don' ya? Ma baby brother got yerself a soft spot for him, ain't ya_?"

Carol bit back the tears; it would only wind him up further "_N... No, Merle! No of course not! He's... he's your brother! He's my brother_!"

His grip didn't relent, his putrid breath washed over her, causing her stomach to summersault "_Yeah tha's right, he's ya brother!"_ he laughed wickedly "_That kinda thang do it for ya, does it, baby_?" Carol swallowed the saliva in her mouth as He dragged a rough hand down her throat, pawing at the material of her blouse as He roughly cupped her breast, his mouth found its way to hers and the metallic taste of beer tinged with whisky forced its way inside her mouth, She knew not to fight him off, it wouldn't help, if she just relaxed her body and allowed him to continue it would be over soon.

So that's what she did; Carol closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable... but it didn't come.

The crash forced her eyes apart as she clutched her hand against her mouth at the sight that lay before her.

Daryl's shoulders squared, his jaw clenched as he wound the fabric of Merle's shirt tighter through his grasp, Merle's face reddened, his breathing raspy and shallow.

Carol saw the familiar rage set upon Daryl's face, his cheeks flared and his eyes glazed over, She had never seen Merle looks so weak, so helpless, so in need of rescuing.

She rushed over to them, her hands scrambling against Daryl's back, he didn't seem to notice her existence, he lost deep in the moment of mind altering anger; the muscles in his forearms tensed as he held Merle against the wall, Carol panicked at the memories that invaded her mind, the familiar memories of that night.

_They'd taunted Daryl, teased him for wanting to learn how to bake, Carol felt accountable for the torture Merle and Shane imparted on the youngest Dixon; she shouldn't have suggested that he help her in the kitchen, she should have kept her damn mouth shut, just like Merle was always telling her to._

_They'd kept on at him, Shane insinuating that his 'boy' was a pussy, Merle joined in, asking Daryl if he'd like to borrow one of Carol's dresses; and that's how it had continued, escalating further and further out of control.  
Carol tried to dissolve the situation, she could sense the shift in Daryl's mood, he'd always been quiet and shy, he didn't have a temper, not like Merle and his father, he'd never retaliated, not once, but in that moment, everything she thought she had known about him, changed.  
_

Maggie's voice snapped her back to reality "CAROL_! Help me will ya? Dang, Daryl! You're gunna kill him_!" Carol moved to Daryl's left, her hands clinging desperately onto his forearm "_Daryl? Please? Please stop! This isn't you! I know it isn't, please, let him go? Do it for me_?" something shifted, his attention broke from Merle's panicked face, he slowly averted his gaze to her and took a slow, deep breath.  
"_That's it_" she soothed "_just relax_" her fingers slid over his, releasing his grip slowly, carefully _"just let go, Daryl, just let go"_  
Merle fell to a crumpled heap on the floor, his hand held protectively across his neck, the redness slowly dispersing from his face and his breathing slowly returning to normal.  
Carol's attention fell elsewhere though, despite Merle's groans and pleas for help; she knelt down in front of Daryl, his head rested between his legs, his arms guarding himself just like a child; and she was propelled back to that night again.

_Watching him drop to his knees, his blood splattered hands covering his face as his body shook._

Carol hadn't been able to reach out to him then, Merle didn't give her the chance; she regretted it more than anything, she should have helped him.  
She wouldn't let him down again though, not this time. Carol's hands rested uneasily on his shoulders, her eyes searched him for some kind of response.

"_Daryl_?" she was met with silence, Merle had rolled onto his side and was working on breathing again, Maggie hovered behind her, She was aware of her desire to interfere, to get closer to Daryl and as much as it irritated her, she realised that she couldn't blame her; it was difficult to not care about Daryl, to not wanna take care of him.

He pushed her away suddenly, moving onto his feet, his tear stained face directed toward the floor "_I'm FINE! Just let' me alone, woman_!"

Carol sighed and slowly joined him on her feet; she clutched her cardigan about her body after realising that Merle had ripped her shirt under his heavy hands.

Daryl didn't acknowledge his brother; he stepped past him and closer to Maggie, further away from Carol.

Maggie reached out her hand, placing her fingertips against Daryl's shoulder, He flinched and his head snapped around towards her _"Don' touch me!"_ Carol felt a level of sympathy for Maggie; she understood what it felt like to be rejected by Daryl.

He backed away from them all, Carol's eyes flicked briefly down to Merle, he had dragged himself to sit up he was still gasping and clutching at his throat.

Daryl followed her gaze and narrowed his eyes "_feel sorry for him, don' ya_?" Carol shook her head slowly; Daryl raised his hand in protest _"Don' botha, Carol. I don' need' ta hear it!"_ He scoffed and looked from his brother, back to her again.

"_Tha's the last time I try' ta protect ya! Dunno why I bothered anyway's!"_ He grabbed his helmet and made for the door _"Hell, ya'll deserve eachotha"_

Carol felt him take a part of her heart; she wanted so desperately to follow, to stop him! But how could she? Her life was here, with Merle! With the man she had married!

Maggie threw her a knowing look, the kind of look that said she understood what she was feeling _"It's ok... I'll go after him, don't worry"_

Carol smiled weakly in thanks _"don't let him disappear again?"_ Maggie returned the smile _"I won't..."_ she cast her eyes down to Merle _"you just deal with him"_

Maggie raced through the bar, the unattended customers not mattering to anyone; she caught sight of Daryl as he mounted his bike.

"_Wait!"_ she shouted above the rumble of the engine, Daryl fixed his steely glare upon her, he realised she'd not leave him be and he couldn't go anywhere right now, not with her positioned directly in front of the front wheel.

Turning off the engine he pulled his helmet off and pushed his mop of hair from his face, beads of sweat clung desperately to his forehead.

"_make it quick!"_ he snapped; Maggie's eyes searched him, she didn't know what to say, she didn't understand or know enough about his relationship with Merle to comment on what she had just witnessed in the kitchen; but she did know a bit about pain, about being scared and alone... that she knew.

"_I won't tell you I know what's going through your head right now, Daryl. I wouldn't patronise you like that! What happened back there..."_ she looked past him, towards the bar for a second _"well, it scared me! I can't pretend that it didn't! Hell, it scared all of us! But you can't do this! You can't just take off! Not again_"

He curled his lip and ran his hand over the short whiskers that covered his chin _"Oh yeah? And why not?"_

Maggie panicked what should she say? Because Carol needed him? Because his brother needed him? Or... because she needed him?

"_Because... you've already tried that, remember? You run away once already and what good did it actually do you, Daryl? I mean look at you! You came back!"_

He seemed to consider her words, he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes _"can't stay there, I'll kill him, Maggie!"_

Maggie looked thoughtful, she bit against her lip and after several seconds fished into her jean pocket _"here, take these"_ Daryl caught the bunch of keys and his brows knitted together in question as he rolled them around his fingers.

"_What's this?" _

Maggie backed towards the bar _"I gotta get back inside, daddy is workin' at a neighbouring ranch today, he won't be back till later, just go, get some food, wait for me!"_

Daryl called after her _"Wait! Maggie! I can't... damn I can't just let maself in!"_

She turned briefly _"wait for me! I'll be home in 2 hours! Just give me time to try and change your mind... and if you still wanna leave, I'll wave you off myself"_

Daryl watched her disappear inside the bar; he should go! He should just leave, that's what he should do! But how could he?


End file.
